By continuing, you accept that many of the jokes will be potentially offensive, and that you will not be bothered by this fact. You also confirm that you are of an age which legally allows you to read such material in the country where you live.
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He flicked it on. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.
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One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to sheak a cab ride back to the airport.
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Get the hell out of my cab. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?
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We can only spieca you back as a dog or a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here? An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.
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See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, "I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh", I accidentally said "I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh".
This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, "Please pour me a bowl of corn flakes, honey.
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After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to write a sexual harassment grievance against him.
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Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?
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She responded, "Hardly worth going home is it? What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for?
Its Braille for "suck here". What is an Australian kiss? It is the same as a French kiss, but only down under. What do you do with used condoms?
Melt them down, make a tyre, and call it a Goodyear.
Why are hurricanes normally named after women?